You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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