They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
