Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
