shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
