I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
