Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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