I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
