Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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