508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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