Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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