Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
