After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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