Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Pants are for mortals
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
