dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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