who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize