I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
