He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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