Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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