so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
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Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
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As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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