She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
