this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
