Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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