I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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