Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize