Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Tornado booty call.. dedication
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
