I'm gonna have a badass scar
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
