she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
