dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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