Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
