i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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