Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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