can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
