I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
