dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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