Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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