Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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