Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
then he tried to convert me to islam
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
