You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
