Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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