I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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