My sheets look like a crime scene.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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