I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
