I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
