Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
