Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
