I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
