Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
