I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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