he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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