I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
