ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
