How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
