I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
