I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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