He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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