sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Can I color on your dick again?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
