I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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