I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
