There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
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I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
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You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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