Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
