Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize