i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
