we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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