We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
