there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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