those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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